


YC(N)C Drabble

by devilbabycryman



Series: You Can (Not) Connect [2]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Heavy Petting, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Oneshot, yc(n)c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 01:04:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5723728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilbabycryman/pseuds/devilbabycryman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shinji sees some stuff he probably wasn't supposed to and now has to Deal With It.</p>
            </blockquote>





	YC(N)C Drabble

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be at the end of the "Raison D'Etre" chapter of You Can (Not) Connect butI decided to post it as its own separate thing. while i do still like it, it disrupted the flow of things and felt rushed. so here take it.

I sat in my room, trapped in a daze and trying to make sense of what I had just seen. My first thought was that it couldn’t possibly have happened. Not even my most unrestrained fantasies had prepared me for something like that. The images flashing across my mind were far too vivid to ever be the product of my imagination, and they intruded upon any further thought I could form to the contrary. My mind replayed the image of Kaworu in the bathroom, his head tilted back and nothing visible to me but his naked shoulders, slender neck and blissful expression. I couldn’t stop thinking about the look on his face and the sound of those moans trembling out of him, over and over on a loop. The wild lack of restraint in his movements and the way he bit his lip and the corners of his mouth tilted up into an unashamed grin struck me at some primal core that I was only vaguely aware of. I was frozen, and these recollections held me hostage for a solid few minutes.

My secondary reaction, after the initial shock, was that of overwhelming embarrassment; not just at the sight of what I had witnessed, but how it made me feel. The color had returned to my cheeks and even threatened to burn through them. My heart beat so hard in my chest that I feared it would stop soon. It was safe to say that, as a teenager, I was as well acquainted with of arousal as many teenagers might be (which was to say, very well acquainted). But when it came to  _dealing_ with that sensation, I had always done so in a very detached and even ashamed sort of way. It was more a means to an end than any actual pleasure, so I couldn't properly process the feeling in such a raw and intense form.

There was no way I could face him now. In the thick silence of the house that made my heartbeat almost audible, I could hear the sound of the water splashing about and draining in the bathroom. I panicked, and immediately scrambled to my feet to tear off my clothes and change into regular sleeping clothes. I was tripping over myself as I rushed to turn off the light while trying and failing to be silent. Kaworu's rummaging in the bathroom came to a close just as I curled up tightly beneath my bed covers, completely obscuring my head and facing the wall. Even though it was almost painfully difficult, I slowed my breathing to mimic a sleeping pace. I was lucky that Kaworu dawdled about in the bathroom for awhile, because I failed at this spectacularly for several minutes before finally calming down enough to at least sound convincing.

Some moments later, I heard the quiet creak of the door opening and squeezed my eyes shut for good measure. I was tense while straining to listen to Kaworu's every movement without giving myself away. He rummaged around in his bag carefully for a few minutes before tip-toeing around my bed and settling onto the floor. I could tell that he was doing his best to be quiet, and he was so successful that I hardly did hear what he was doing for much of this. There was a light rustling of covers from the floor, a gentle exhale from him, then he went completely silent.

Even after that, it was a long time before I was able to relax my muscles out of their tension. I convinced myself that he was asleep when the silence remained for long enough, and that helped. I was hugging myself loosely at that point, and able to breathe normally. Though I was much more calm, I still couldn’t completely get the images out of my head. My eyes felt heavy, my breath was slower and it didn’t take long for a dangerous thought to cross my mind.

 _This won't isn’t going to go away until I take care of it..._ The insidious, unfiltered voice of my thoughts filled my head and I weakly argued against it. I might have been able to ignore it, were it not for the now-noticeable throbbing in the pit of my stomach. Even as I shifted I could only feel the arousal creep up more prominently, and the rustling of my shorts against the sensitive skin wasn't helping any.

 _He’s asleep, anyway. If I'm quiet, he won’t even notice._ There was something mildly frightening about letting myself have this thought. Even if Kaworu was asleep, I might die on the spot if he found out. I tried to tell myself this over and over but the more it persisted, the more I suspected that it was having the opposite effect I wanted it to.

 _I deserve to unwind. It'll only take a second, and it'll feel_ really _good._

I hardly needed much convincing at that point, and a few seconds of justification was all it took. I twisted around quietly to look down at the futon to confirm that Kaworu was actually asleep; I was met with the sight of his back turned to me, rising and falling gently. Once I was assured enough to proceed, I swallowed hard and turned back to face the wall.

Slowly and deliberately, I slid a hand into my shorts and my breath hitched immediately when it graced bare skin. I had underestimated how sensitive I was at that moment, wrapping my shaking palm around the base and hesitantly started to roll my fingers against the vein on the underside. My movements were tempered and restrained at first, trying to make good on the promise to myself to stay quiet. Biting my lip didn't help, and burying my face in the pillow only made my breath heavier. It felt like no matter what I did, I was making a grotesque amount of noise, but it was impossible to stop after starting.

My mouth fell open to push out a shaky and weighted sigh, and I had to cover it with my free hand in an attempt to stifle the noise. I stopped my movements when I heard a bit of rustling from the futon on the floor, momentarily petrified with the fear that Kaworu had heard me. There was no other sound after that, and I didn't dare move a muscle even to look.

I resumed my pace cautiously after that, since I just couldn't resist, slowly pushing my hips into my hand which was growing more and more outside of my control the longer I continued. Even though I was terrified that Kaworu had woken up, and may have even been watching me, I still couldn't stop. For a moment, I wondered what might actually happen if he saw me. I couldn't describe, or even understand why that made my grip tighter and my fingers more eager. I twisted my legs together and bit my lip again in one last attempt at restraint, closing my eyes and getting lost in all manner of thoughts about how I saw him in the tub. The way his hand must have been moving underneath the water, how he was touching himself, how the water looked when it lapped at his collarbone. I could barely contain my breath, and quickly lost sight of the fact that I was trying to do so. My presence of mind was fading and overtaken by the raw sensation of it all.

In the midst of it, I felt an unexpected but familiar warmth press against my back and push my body forward. Hot, soothing breath spilled against my neck and lean arms wrapped themselves around me. It took me a few moments to fully register what was happening and realize what it meant. By the time I did, I wasn’t given a chance to react; Kaworu had already slid one hand across my waist and along the arm I had buried in my shorts. With the other, he gripped the wrist that was working to cover my mouth and slowly pulled it down to release the noises I was trying to contain.

“K-Ka...oru...you...hh...” I could hardly form a thought; every word I managed to exhale was strangled by his hand around mine, guiding my grasp with such expertise that it eclipsed my own clumsy attempts. My fingers went slack and his tightened, threading between mine and squeezing me gently but eagerly. The way they twisted around the skin and toyed with me made me tighten my thighs involuntarily around his hand and push my hips against him. I let out a whine and made another unsuccessful attempt at forming a sentence, but he leaned against my ear and hushed me gently. The vibration alone coaxed an embarrassingly sweet moan out of me, made louder by him gliding his thumb firmly across the sensitive head of my length. I was reduced to a trembling mess, and all I could do was grip his arm and force him further into my shorts with one now-free hand, while the other reached back and gripped a fistful of his hair.

I couldn’t think, and even if I could it was doubtful that I would care much right then. I had completely let go, and were I capable I would scream out to him how wonderful it was and how I never wanted him to stop. Even he seemed to have released himself from his usual subtleties and pretensions, and was groaning all sorts of luxurious words into my ear. I could barely discern what he said through the haze, but the way he said it served their purose. It was better than any dream I could have come up with, and I didn’t allow myself a chance to analyze any part of this for fear that it would ruin the moment, illusion or not.

I was hanging by a thread, and as I felt the end rapidly approaching I tried to stave it off as long as possible by twisting in his arms to relieve the pressure. No matter what I did, though, it only grew more and more overwhelming. I was somehow able to communicate with steadily peaking moans and a tightening pull on his hair, tugging his head forward and further into my neck. He understood and stroked me faster, pressing the fingers of his free hand against my lips. I don't know why, but I parted them slightly and whether he meant to or not, he pressed a finger inside. On cue, that made me shiver; I closed my lips around it and I slid my tongue against the tip of it. It wasn't as good as kissing him, but it allowed me to imagine, for a moment, that his finger was something else. Perhaps he shared my brief fantasy, for he groaned surprisingly loudly and pushed himself closer to me, sliding it into the depths of my mouth eagerly.

I didn't mean to, but I bit down on the intruding appendage when my entire body finally tensed up and wave after wave of overwhelming bliss washed through me, coating his fingers and the inside of my shorts. He gave no indication that it hurt him in any way, and his only reaction was to clutch me tighter with his whole form, embracing me through my orgasm until I settled down.

I exhaled heavily as his hand slipped away from my lips and underneath me to wrap around my chest. While I was recovering, he withdrew his other hand from of my shorts and observed the mess with quiet amusement. My senses were dulled from over-stimulation, and all I could do was lie there while he pressed a loving kiss to my temple and lightly smoothed his now-clean fingers through my hair.

He muttered something into my ear that I was barely able to listen to. The words “wonderful” and “love” and “so so much” drifted across my awareness, and a dreamy smile slid onto my face. My eyes were extremely heavy and my body exhausted, but I was able to turn around to face him and rest my lips against his for a moment. I was hardly conscious as it was, and I couldn’t see what he did after that; my eyes closed and I whispered his name just before falling asleep.


End file.
